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Northam’s ‘White Guilt’
Almost two weeks into a scandal over a racist photo on his medical school yearbook page, Gov. Ralph Northam of Virginia is still in hot water. But a new poll from The Washington Post shows that Virginians are split on whether he should quit — and black residents say by a wide margin that he should stay in office.
After watching clips of a contrite Northam addressing the scandal, Trevor Noah had an idea of why African-Americans might want the governor to stick around.
“To black people, especially in Virginia, every white guy serving in office has probably done some racist” stuff, Noah said, using a more scatological word. “So you might as well have a white guy who has already been caught and feels bad about it, because you know that guy’s never messing up again.”
Having a politician with “a racism debt,” Noah said, might be a good thing.
“Let me tell you, white guilt can be very useful, my friends. Black people in Virginia can ask Governor Northam for anything now: better schools, criminal justice reform, a holiday for Beyoncé’s birthday. A black person in Virginia could ask Northam to pick him up from the airport and he’d be like, [in a deep Southern accent] ‘I’ll be there in 15 minutes.’” — TREVOR NOAH
Since a leaked internal schedule revealed that roughly 60 percent of President Trump’s average workday is devoted to unspecified “executive time,” he has been pushing back against the perception that he does not work hard enough. Stephen Colbert made fun of Trump for his strident denials, and for suggesting on Twitter that he works “more hours than almost any past president.”
“Look, in fact, most past presidents just lounge around in their coffins all day. Must be nice, Ulysses S. Grant, up in your fancy aboveground tomb.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, impersonating Trump
The Punchiest Punchlines (Inhalation Edition)
“Senator and presidential candidate Kamala Harris said today that she smoked marijuana in college, adding, quote, ‘And I did inhale.’ Not to be outdone, Bernie Sanders claimed that he never exhaled.” — SETH MEYERS
“I read that Congress is offering Trump $2 billion for his border wall, instead of the $5.7 billion that he asked for. Which means a lot of immigrants will just bang their shins on the wall while they hop over.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Valentine’s Day is this Thursday, and I saw that if you go to Hooters you can shred a photo of your ex and get free wings. It’s fun until you realize that you got back at your ex by eating alone at a Hooters on Valentine’s Day.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
In commemoration of Jimmy Fallon’s fifth anniversary as host of “The Tonight Show,” Adam Sandler sang him a song: “My Jimmy Fallontine.”
John Oliver overtook Bernie Sanders as the most frequent guest on “The Late Show,” and a regal award ceremony was in order.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Ray Romano will pay a visit to his old pal Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday. His appearances on Kimmel’s show often turn out to be more than the typical celebrity interview. (For Romano’s son, they’re usually moments of deep embarrassment. See above.)
Also, Check This Out
If you missed the Grammys (or even part of them), we’ve got you covered. Here’s our best and worst of the night, which proved to be a pivotal one for the Recording Academy’s relationship with female artists.